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离婚日记:丈夫还是死了好

时间:2011-01-13 08:24 点击:
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今天运动场上冰冷的时刻,我和安娜还有克莱尔二个女儿紧紧交织在一起,坐在我们惯常喜欢的座位上观看我们的小宝贝,测试在新攀登架上的万有引力。我们一直忙于做家庭梦。我叹了一声,说,“我们喜欢那些玛利亚女皇式小农舍,在那里我们吃的是三层骨瓷架饼干,坐的小巧的开罗腿椅。”

她们大笑起来,安娜说“你本来不该让你的丈夫进门,更不要说在长椅上倚门陪他了。”说实在话,他身高6英尺4,锁骨上方 开始明显肥大,从来没有品尝美味的托纸蛋糕,即使在早先他追求我的时候也没有吃过。当我想起他坐在那张漂亮的镀金椅上时,他那个样瞬间变成停放在大理石上面的紫色河马。“不行,我们现在不能要那个房子了。除非他走了。”

“走,去那里?”安娜问。“他不会去任何地方的,但是,”我说,“我的意思是,这房子可以用的,只是要在他...唔,不会长久了。”他们还是困惑。我试着进一步解释,“你们知道的,就是归天。”此时一阵静默。“哦,天啊,你不是说死吧?”安娜尖叫了一声。我惶惑地说,“嗯,唉,没错。”难道大家不都是这样想么?显然不是。她们俩都目瞪口呆地看着我,一会儿,其中一个女儿从可攀登架上掉下来,接着我们就干了起来。

现在我才知道,在公开场面那么渴望自己的配偶死是非礼的。我焦虑的是:我的全部希望都要有这样一个先决条件,即我搬家,买新车,重新装修--他死了以后。如果不想到他若死了一切就好,怕一瓶牛奶我也不会去买的。

真正的死难以用语言细说。他当然不受苦。而我却是爱尽折磨。寡妇穿白衣孝服真的还是礼节吗?我可不可以戴一点红?

深夜,我醒来,转身看到睡得死沉的河马,只是到这个时候我才明白,死也不解决问题。黑色穿戴会把我变得死灰一样。葬礼上大家都是黑色一片。而这个河马却是像圣人一个被保护。

但是,当事情真的道破后,他死亡的悲剧被删去,我认识到,还有一个模糊的希望:离婚!

译文:Diary of a divorce: wishing my husband was dead

A chilling moment in the playground today. Anna, Claire and I are sitting liketricoteuses on our favourite bench, watching our little treasures testingthe law of gravity on the new climbing frame. We're busy playing dreamhomes. “I've always loved those teeny Queen Anne cottages where you eat offthree-tier bone-china cake stands and sit on bitsy, bow-legged chairs,” Isigh.

They burst out laughing. “You'd never get your husband through the door, letalone balance him on a spindly chair,” snorts Anna. True, he is six footfourish, with a tum that starts at his collarbone, and he was never, even inthe faraway days when he wanted to please me, given to nibbling daintycupcakes. When I think of him on a lovely gilt chair, the image is quicklysuperseded by one of a large purple hippo balancing on a marble. “No, wewouldn't get a house like that now,” I say patiently. “It's for when he'sgone.”

“Gone where?” asks Anna. “Oh, he's not going anywhere - yet,” I say. “I meantit's for when he's...well, no longer around.” They look blank. I try again.“You know - departed.” There's a pause. “Oh my God, you mean dead, don'tyou?” shrieks Anna. “Well, er, yes,” I say, flummoxed. Doesn't everyonethink like this? Apparently not. Both stare at me for a long moment and thenone of the children falls off the climbing frame and we all rush intoaction.

So now I know. It's officially Not Normal to anticipate the death of yourspouse so keenly. I'm worried: all my dreams have the same prerequisite.I'll move house / buy a new car / take up painting - when he's dead. I canscarcely think of buying a pint of milk without thinking it would be so muchbetter if he were dead first.

The actual demise is never gone into in any detail. He certainly doesn'tsuffer. I, however, have been through the most terrible agonies. Is itreally still de rigueur for the widow to wear black these days, or could Iget away with a splash of red?

It is not until midnight, when I wake and look over at the sweetly sleepinghippo, that I know for sure that death just won't work. Black makes me lookcompletely ashen, everyone else at the funeral will be wearing it and, whenall's said and done, the hippo is a protected species.

But, just when things look really bleak, with his tragic demise off the cardsfor ever, I realise that there is still a glimmer of hope. Divorce!

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a couple of 一对
back up 支持
be determined to 下决心做。。。
be fed up with 厌倦了。。。
be likely to 很可能。。。
be no exception 没有例外
before long 不久后
by chance 偶然
by no means 不可能,绝不,一点也不
call for 号召
call off 取消
catch up with 赶上
come across 偶然遇见
cope with 处理,处置
cut short 打断某人谈话
deal with 处理,处置
except for 除了。。。以外
face to face 面对面
fall behind 落后
fall asleep 入睡,睡着了
fall sick 生病了
family name 姓
focus on 专注于。。。
get along with 与。。。相处
give birth to 使。。。产生,使。。。发生,
gvie sb a lift 让某人搭车
get off 撤销,下车
get rid of 放弃,抛弃
get used to 习惯于
given name 名字
heart and sole 全心全意
hold on 坚持,不要挂电话
hold one's breath屏住呼吸
in spite of 尽管
in the event that 如果。。。发生的话
keep fit 保持身体健康
look forward to doing sth. 期待做。。。
lose heart 失去信心
make a living 维持生计
make up 修护,补偿
mistake sb for sb else 把某人当做别人
more or less 或多名少,差不多
nickname 昵称,别称
office hours 办公时间
on time 准时
on vacation 放假
out of time 没有时间
pick up 挑选,拿起,顺带
rain cats and dogs 倾盆大雨
rather than 喜欢。。。而不是。。。
regardless of 不顾。。。
resign one's post 辞职
result from 由。。。引起的结果
result in 导致。。。结果
round the corner 即将到来
run across 偶然遇到
run out 用完,用光

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