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重建夫妻之间破裂关系的步骤

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        首先也是最重要的是你不得不搞清造成紧张关系的原因。确认你人际关系的哪方面出现了问题,并分析这个关系能否重建。写下造成紧张关系的重要因素。它有可能是因为缺少爱,缺少关爱,缺少承诺,缺少分享或者独立。

       你可以试试以下的步骤来改善和你配偶的关系。

       1.任何造成紧张的婚姻关系的最要原因是缺少沟通。沟通的缺乏程度直接造成婚姻的紧张度。更有效的沟通能使你大部分的问题都得以解决。

        2.开始一次谈话。不要寄希望于你的配偶会先开始讲。要积极并且谈论你的另一半喜欢喜欢的话题。如果你无法继续话题,你可以问些他们的一天是如何度过的,他们什麽时候下班回家?

       3.要表现出你是真心对他感到兴趣。

       4.要微笑并却有个让人舒服的外表。

       5.不要评论或者抱怨。

       6.要常常倾听他的谈话,即使你对谈话内容并不感兴趣。倾听会让他感觉到被重视并且明白你在意他的言语。

       7.刚你的配偶在讲话的时候不要打断他。让他们说完后,你就可以表达自己的感受了。如果他们咆哮就让他们咆哮。你的打断只会使促成更大的怒火和狂暴,事情会变得更糟的。

      8.知道他喜欢和不喜欢的东西。如果你的伴侣天生就不喜欢某些东西,不要强迫他们。比如说,他不喜欢绿色,就不要强迫他因为绿色食物的好处而吃生菜。应该把他当成成人来看待。

     9.赞赏他的帮助和友善。让他知道他对你来说意义重大。当你犯错或者做错决策的时候,向他道歉。

    10.给予一个诚实,真心的赞赏。

    11.给你的伴侣寄卡片是不需要理由的。寄一张卡片告诉他你一直在想他。我想他会震惊的。

    12.当你在杂货店购物的时候顺便买一种他喜欢吃的糖果,等他一回到家就给他。这会让他知道你在乎他。不要等到某个场合再送他礼物。不带任何理由礼物他会喜欢的。对他来说,这是个惊喜。对于那些丈夫,常常给你的妻子送花是个非常好的主意。

    13.成为他的一个知心朋友。鼓励他们和你分享他们的想法。这会在两个你之间建立起亲密感。不要撒谎或者假惺惺地说话,这会造成长久的痛苦,并且信任也会被破坏。信任是任何关系的基础,通常也是相当难建立的。

    14.隔段时间就和你的伴侣出去约会一次。如果你不喜欢约会,可以试着一起去杂货店买购物,或者出去长途驾车旅游。打开收音机,一起谈论音乐,一起享受快里。

    15.如果你家里有孩子,安排别人来照顾他们或者在孩子睡觉后来个小型的烛光晚餐。

    16.你可以试着咨询心理医生或者是婚姻咨询者来分析你们的婚姻问题。他们会以客观地看待问题并给予你合适的建议来帮助你护持一个诚恳的关系。

      

译文:Steps to Revive a Broken Relationship

The first and foremost thing that you have to think is the reason for a strained . Check which aspect of went wrong to analyze if this relationship can be worked upon. Writedown the important factors for the strained relationship. It could belack of love, affection, commitment, sharing or dependence.


You can try these steps to improve your relationship with your partner.

  1. The main problem in any strained is communication. Lack in communication is directly proportional to astrained marriage. Communicate better and most of your problems wouldbe resolved.
  2. Start a conversation. Do not expect your spouse tospeak first. Be proactive and start a conversation your partner prefersto speak. If you are lost, you can ask how their day went, when theyget back home from work.
  3. Be genuinely interested in your spouse.
  4. Smile and have a pleasant look.
  5. Do not criticize or complain.
  6. Alwayslisten to your spouse. Even if you are not interested in theconversation, listen to your partner. This would make him feelimportant and understand that you care for his words.
  7. Do notinterrupt when your partner is speaking. Allow them to finishcompletely and you can then voice out your feelings. If they areranting, allow them to rant. Your interruption would only cause moreanger and rage, and things would go worse.
  8. Know the likes anddislikes of your partner. If your partner genuinely does not likesomething, do not force them. For instance, if he does not like greens,do not force him to eat them by lecturing about the goodness of greens.Treat him like an adult.
  9. Appreciate for his help and kindness.Let him know that he means a lot to you. Apologize when you commit amistake or a blunder.
  10. Give an honest appreciation.
  11. Youdo not need a reason to send a card to your spouse. Send a card thatyou have been thinking about him and I'm sure he would be thrilled.
  12. Pickup a candy that your spouse likes during your grocery shopping, andgive it to him once he gets back home. This would make him understandthat you care for him. Do not wait for an occasion to gift him; justget them for no reason and he would love it. It would be a surprise foryour partner. For husbands, it is a good idea to gift flowers to yourwife often.
  13. Be a good friend to your spouse. Encourage themto share their thoughts with you. This would build intimacy betweenboth of you. Never lie or speak falsely, this would create morebitterness in the long run and the trust would be broken. Trust is thebuilding block for any relationship and is quite difficult to build.
  14. Goout for a date with your spouse once in a while. If you do not preferto date, you can try going out for a grocery shopping together, or goout for a long drive. Switch on the radio, talk about music and havefun together.
  15. If you have kids at home, arrange for someone totake care of them, or have a small candle-lit dinner after the kids areoff to bed.
  16. You can also try a psychologist or a marriagecounselor to analyze this issue. They would look at the situation in acommon platform and would give appropriate advice to help youmaintaining a cordial relationship .

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