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界定当今世界之爱

时间:2011-01-11 00:51 点击:
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我们对理解爱的研究已经非常显著,正如你们认为书刊,文章和讲话等等所围绕的主题。全世界的人相信爱情是幸福必不可少的,并且各种不同的地方和方式寻觅爱情。电视和电影在告诉我们什么是“真正的爱情”,但是不管怎么说,在捍卫爱情问题上有一些误区。

什么是爱情?

这是一个在我的脑子里多年反复出现的问题。我有在一个充满爱的家庭被抚养的权利。我现在仍然还记得在那时一直想知道,“什么是爱?”我的结论是,爱是我所得到的温暖的感情,是在我的父母抱我亲我的时候感受到。

作为10几岁的青少年,“爱”这个词很快就在亲缘关系中用上了,当这种关系深化的时候,爱这个词成了不恰当的字眼。在为个阶段容易混淆性冲动和爱。冲动为急于要得到,而爱则急于要奉献。

当我遇到一人,现在的丈夫格兰,并且从开始跟他约会那时起我开始明白什么是爱的真谛。当时我在一家小电影器材公司工作。这里的招待员成了我们的媒人。她把我叫了过去认识一个小伙子,当时他刚刚为她修好计算器。格兰一见我,满面通红,找个借口,说声抱歉就匆匆走出办公室。他到街上打回来一个电话,请我约会。他很害羞,但是不笨。

至此,我对爱的认识还是停留在以自我为中心。我那时在寻找美好的一段时光。我不停地在思考那个效果。我的行动可能伤害别人----特别是我的说话。格兰很敏感而诚实,能够直说我的挖苦伤人。我开始作出理智的努力,无论在私下还是在公众场合我都维护他的体面,因为我在乎他。我的情感升华了一层,开始讨好他,让他高兴。

各种不同的爱

我发现的问题部分地在于这些事实:“爱”在英语中有多种含义。在希腊语中,有不同的词语可以表示不同类型的爱。例如:

Phileo 一词用来表示共享感受而加深的友爱,Eros一词用来描述肉体感受的性爱,Agape一词用来表示意愿无条件行为表达的纯爱。Marriage一词用来表示三个方面的集合。我的丈夫是我的最亲爱朋友。性爱,当然,是婚姻的重要成分。

但是,agape 这种爱是最深层,最本质的爱。上帝就是我们的楷模的爱。上帝爱我们可以奉献他唯一的儿子.耶稣基督,我要知道上帝的爱和宽恕,以此规范自己不做坏事。我和格兰在不同的时间,各自祷祈和接待上帝。上帝是我们的救星,上帝宽恕我们做错事。上帝是主,造就我们成为人类,把我们带到这个世界上来。我们要认清,正是上帝让我们能够拥有互相的agape,给我们周围所有人的agape。

爱是一种选择

真爱是一种选择,一种意愿行为。它让我们能够接受各种亲情关系,能够在决定投入或者反之勇退的时候,去选择一个人。

在家时或者上班时,我多次发现这么些令人讨厌的事:接受他人的行为,或者看待事物的场面。每当我意识此类事情要发生时我就求助上帝,我承认,我对这些人没有自然的爱,请求上帝宽恕,请求上帝爱他们。久而久之,在上帝的爱影响下,我那些气恼习惯淡漠了。我又开始赏识那些人的力量了。

主动去爱人们,通常得到肯定的回报。但是,有时候,看不到回报,我就提醒自己,我只是向自己的行为和动力负责,不是向别人的行为负责。

真理是人们和环境不会产生我们的行动,他们只是我们的内存条件。

正宗的解释

上帝在圣经中对爱作了清楚的描述:

爱是永不放弃的。爱就是呵护他人胜于爱自己。爱不要不该有的东西,爱不强加于人,爱并非总是“以我为先”,爱决不保留别人的过错,爱决不以他人卑躬屈节为狂欢,爱快乐在真理之花盛开。相信上帝始终不渝,寻求最美好世界,决不后退直至最后。爱神永生。(科林斯圣经13卷第1章,福音)

耶稣基督是我们唯一的楷模之爱。我们大家都在上帝之爱塔下。

译文:Defining Love in Today’s World

  Our search to understand love is obvious when you consider the numerous books,articles and talk shows dedicated to the topic. People around the world deem love as essential to being happy and look for it in many different places and ways. Television and movies tell us what“real love”should look like but somehow something has been lost in the definition.

  What is Love?

  This was a recurring question in my mind for many years. I had the privilege of being raised in a loving home. I can remember even at that time wondering,“What is love?”I concluded that it must be the warm feeling I got when my parents hugged and kissed me.

  As a teenager,the word“love”was used so soon in a relationship that it became an inadequate expression when the relationship deepened. At this stage it was easy to confuse lust and love,I think. I learned a helpful definition:Lust can“t wait to get. Love can”t wait to give.

  I began to understand the true essence of love when I met and began to date my husband,Glen. I was working as a secretary in a small film equipment company. The receptionist was a real matchmaker. She called me over to introduce me to the fellow who had just repaired her accounting machine. Glen blushed from ear to ear,excused himself and hurried out of the office. When he got to the corner store he telephoned back to ask me on a date. He was bashful,but not slow.

  Up to this point my ideas about love were very self centered. I was out for a good time. I had never stopped to think about the effect my actions might have on others - especially my words. Glen was sensitive and honest enough to tell me that my sarcasm hurt. I began to make a conscious effort to build him up in private and in public because I cared about him. My feelings became secondary to pleasing Glen and making him happy.

  Different Kinds of Love

  I discovered that part of my problem lay in the fact that“love”has several meanings in the English language. In Greek,different words are used to describe different types of love. For example:

  Phileo is used to describe friendship that is strengthened by shared experiences,Eros describes sensual love that is stimulated by our senses and Agape describes the pure love that is unconditionally expressed as an act of the will. Marriage should include all three facets of love. My husband is my best friend and we share many experiences together. Eros love is,of course,an important part of marriage.

  But agape is the deepest and most essential kind of love. God is our role model for this type of love. He loved us so much that He gave His only Son,Jesus Christ,as a provision for our sin that we might know His love and forgiveness. Glen and I,at different times,individually prayed and received Jesus Christ as our Saviour,to forgive us for the things we had done wrong,and as our Lord,to make us the kind of people He created us to be. Knowing God personally enabled us to appropriate His agape love for us to one another and to those around us.

  Love is a Choice

  Real love is a choice. An act of the will. It enables us to accept our differences within relationships and to choose to love the person when we want to lash out or withdraw instead.

  At home or at work,there are many times that I find it annoying to adapt to someone else“s way of doing or looking at things. When I sense this happening,I talk it over with God. I admit that I have no natural love for them,ask God for His forgiveness and for His love for them. With God”s love those irritating habits and opinions fade away and I begin to appreciate the person“s strengths again.

  Taking the initiative to love others usually triggers a positive response. But when there is no visible response I have to remind myself that I am only responsible for my actions and reactions,not those of other people.

  The truth is,people and circumstances don“t cause our reactions,they merely reveal our inner condition.

  The Real Thing

  God gives a clear description of love in the Bible:

  Love never gives up. Love cares for others more than for self. Love doesn“t want what it doesn”t have. Love doesn“t strut,doesn”t have a swelled head,doesn“t force itself on others,it isn”t always“me first,”doesn“t fly off the handle,doesn”t keep score of the sins of others,doesn“t revel when others grovel,takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,puts up with anything,trusts God always,always looks for the best,never looks back,but keeps going to the end. Love never dies”(1 Corinthians 13,The Message)。

  Jesus Christ is our only model of this love. And we are all still under construction.

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